elena

elenasaurs @ 2005-10-12T22:50:00

2005-10-13T05:51:26Z

I HAVE A MYSPACE NOW ADD ME OR SOMETHING OK BYE

planes, trains & automobiles

2005-10-13T02:41:51Z

I NEED ANOTHER TRIP.

elenasaurs @ 2005-10-02T22:21:00

2005-10-03T05:25:02Z

"I think it is all a matter of love: the more you love a memory, the stronger and stranger it is" -Vladimir Nabokov

elenasaurs @ 2005-09-14T00:33:00

2005-09-14T07:36:37Z

The words hung out in front of us, like items on a clothes line -- blowing slightly, but mostly stationary. Waiting for someone to take them down and iron them, digest the sentiment and try again.

Stories, etc.

2005-08-29T01:19:10Z

At work today, I was sitting around staring out the window, and this man [looking about 40 years old or so] walks in the door. He's short and bulky [not chubby, but strong looking], wearing a hat, excercise type clothes and a goofy, borderline creepy grin -- not our typical Fancy clientele.

I say "Hi, how are you?" and stand up to greet him, and he hears me ask, but doesn't respond. Rather, he walks quickly toward me with the same tilted head, same strange expression, same grin I can't be sure about, and then stands right in front of me. I'm thinking "He's going to rob me. He's going to kill me. Gun! Knife! Creep! No!", but he just stands there, and after a few seconds of awkward, fidgety quiet, he says "Well, are you going to take it?" to which I respond with a very confused, slightly quiet "What?"

He reaches across the counter and hands me and unscratched scratch ticket, then says quietly, sincerely, quickly "Good luck." and walks out of the shop -- not to be seen again.

By the by, I didn't win any money. Ross made the worthy point that not winning any money is the only part of the story that isn't strange. It would be 200 times more worthy of a story if I won thousands or millions or even just five, but I am glad it happened all the same, money or not. I think I love strange situations because as they unfold, you're very aware of the fact that your life is changing. Regular things change all the time, but most of the difference is only noticed in retrospect, and I think that's interesting.

Another thing for today is .
It's my new favorite because it reminds me of a dream I had once. I was all out of sorts trying to figure out where I'd seen it before, and then ta da.
That has never happened to me before.

Details about summer when it ends, I think.
And details about books then too because I've had a lot of time to catch up on reading.

elenasaurs @ 2005-06-23T21:13:00

2005-06-24T04:19:30Z

OK, here's mine! I was tagged by Danny Carson cowboydan and Miss Tews rulette

Instructions: List five songs that you are currently into, it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words or even if they're any good but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artist and the song in your journal along with your five songs. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to.

1. One -- Johnny Cash. It's sort of sad, but for some reason it makes me feel amazing. Sometimes I'll listen to it and just start laughing. The other day I was in the car, and I laughed so hard that I was crying?? What's the deal with that?? I don't know. It's a good song regardless of whether you think it is happy or sad. Most of the time I think it is both, but lately I think it is happy.

2. Bermuda Highway -- My Morning Jacket. I am just getting into them, and I like a lot of songs off this album [At Dawn], but I'm picking this one because my stomach always does a little flip when he sings "Don't let your silly dreams, fall inbetween the crack of the bed and the wall."

3. Wrath Pinned to the Mist and Other Games -- Of Montreal. If I could be in the middle of a huge crowd of dancing people with balloons falling from the ceiling and this song playing....I would probably pee my pants from laughing so hard.

4. You Are -- Built to Spill. I think it is amazing that a song with so few words can make me feel so much.

5. I'll agree with Dan and say Greg's new song about love breaking knees because it makes me giggle just thinking about it, it gets stuck in my head constantly, and it's spot on for how a lot of feelings feel. I'll also let the new Beestings song go here too, and I don't care if that's cheating because both songs make my knees wobble.

I tag

virginsailor
mblankgpb
linzkaum
ce_coeur
flyzerodive

goals for summer

2005-06-06T01:40:56Z

"I remember spending an afternoon with Mr. Richter in the Central Park Zoo, I went weighted down with food for the animals, only someone who'd never been an animal would put up a sign saying not to feed them, Mr. Richter told a joke, I tossed hamburger to the lions, he rattled the cages with his laughter, the animals went to the corners, we laughed and laughed, together and separately, out loud and silently, we were determined to ignore whatever needed to be ignored, to build a new world from nothing if nothing in our world could be salvaged, it was one of the best days of my life, a day in which I lived my life and didn't think about my life at all."
-Jonathan Safran Foer

COFFEE

2005-05-03T03:22:40Z

Things have felt busy in a better way lately. I feel like I should post something that does service to the good things in my life, since they have been ignored on here for a little too long.

Today when I was walking, some sorta cute boy came up to me and asked for directions, and I pointed and told him the way to walk there, and he looks at me and says [with an excellent straight face, no less] "Well, I fly, so..." And I started cracking up so hard because what a terrific thing to say to someone. Then I gave him new directions for people who fly, which weren't altogether too different from the walking ones.

I might have found the extra grandparent that I've been craving, but I don't want to say too much about it because I'm terrified I'll jinx it. I will say, though, that it made my entire weekend A+ and thinking about having such a great, new friend makes me smile every time I think about it. More on that later.

I have an art history midterm tomorrow that I have A LOT of reading to do for. I like the reading, so I am not bummed about it at all. I do, however, need to get better at time management. I am learning interesting things and reading nice things in my classes, which I will tell everyone more about soon.

I love my job. I do. I have the funniest, craziest boss. And the funniest, craziest lady working next door. Fancy Schmancy is the best. If you do not believe me, you should go to www.fancyjewels.com and www.schmancytoys.com. Life is awesome.

This weekend, I'm heading up to Vancouver to see Magnolia Electric Co. play on my birthday. How lucky am I? LUCKY!!! Last weekend [as in yesterday and the days before], I saw a lot of people that I love. And last week, I saw Masha, Mike and Michael Cain. We also bumped into the lovely Lindsey Kirschenbaum [too brief, but I'll take it!]. All of those people are WONDERFUL. It had to be written. Weekends are the nicest idea. I am in love with them.

I got to see one of my favorite authors speak. I bumped into Ian at the reading [another fantastic thing!], and we were goofy and happy, and it was a great day. He [the author] made some interesting points about writing, and it made me over the top, out of my mind excited about writing. It was nice to have a refresher. Also, I finished his new book, which is by no means as great as the last one, but nice all the same. There are great quotes in it, which I will also post later because ideas are always better/more effective broken up. People pay better attention when it's not a bunch of text, hm?

I want to learn the favorite book of every person I know or even just meet. I think it would be interesting. There are so many people and so many books. Obvious, I know, but hey. What is your favorite book? ANSWER ME THAT!

Jamie and I get coffee quickly on tuesdays and thursdays now, and it always makes my day. ALWAYS. Jamie is another great thing, and I love that he has caught the love bug. He and his girlfriend are Cute [please note the use of capitalization].

I am going to have dinner with Hana and Paul on Thursday hopefully!! This would make me VERY happy.

Ross Kirshenbaum is the sweetest guy I know!!
There is a lot more to say, but I need to read!!!

I HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A NICE LIFE!!!

talk to you soon! ok! goodbye!

elenasaurs @ 2005-04-18T23:38:00

2005-04-19T06:41:18Z

I am not having a very good day today. I haven't been feeling like myself lately.

Or sitting on this cloud.

Or standing in this picture.

If you read only one of these, make it this one.

2005-04-19T00:11:22Z

"The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one." - J.D Salinger

elenasaurs @ 2005-04-18T16:30:00

2005-04-18T23:30:48Z

"Es tan corto el amor, y tan largo el olvido."
(Love is so short, and forgetting is so long.)
-Pablo Neruda

elenasaurs @ 2005-04-18T16:29:00

2005-04-18T23:29:20Z

"I wanted change and excitement and to shoot off in all directions myself, like the colored arrows from a Fourth of July rocket." - Sylvia Plath

elenasaurs @ 2005-04-18T16:25:00

2005-04-18T23:27:20Z

"For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed. When you part from your friend, you grieve not; for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain." - Kahlil Gibran

elenasaurs @ 2005-04-18T16:23:00

2005-04-18T23:24:19Z

"I belligerently submit that there is something to be said for essential goodness. There is something to be said for decency. There is something to be said for tolerance and endurance and faith and forgiveness and rugged hope and never, never giving up."
-Tim O'Brien

elenasaurs @ 2005-04-16T00:53:00

2005-04-16T07:58:18Z

If you had to pay people a sum of money
based on how important they were to you,
and lots of money meant lots of importance,
then I would owe Ross and Amy enough money to buy them the moon.
And then, hey cool, we could go to the moon.

elenasaurs @ 2005-03-11T01:44:00

2005-03-11T09:44:24Z

The lady at the counter clicks her pen and takes down basic information. Medical history, emergency contacts, allergies, whatever it is that's always on those stupid forms. Her gum clicks like her pen, and it's bothersome, but I don't mention it. "Hey, you have a nice day." Hey, let's have a nice day now. We're all doing just fine, even when we're short with one another. Even when we don't care about each other. We're still polite. We're still easy to get along with. Let's get this over with. Get out the door and on to the next door. Another entrance, another exit.

I drive home to see my mother, and the new puppy bites my pant legs and my mother says "Don't let her do that. We're not supposed to let her do that." And that's fine. I won't let her bite me. It hurts anyway, but I guess I just figured her bigger teeth were coming through her gums. I guess I just thought she was bored, and maybe running in the yard would be fun, but she just runs right beside me biting my pants some more. It's not my dog anyway. "Don't bite." I say. Firm. Loud. Like, I AM IN CHARGE HERE, DOG. Don't bite my fucking pants. Don't bite the bottoms of these pants. Mom says "Cut that out."

The other day I woke up by myself thinking about small detailed events that made me wonder more and more about fate and reasons for it. My ribs ached, and I could tell that I'd slept awkwardly, but I couldn't remember climbing into bed. I couldn't remember how I ended up here. How I woke up here. All I could think was "Maybe I was wrong." And that's it. Nothing else. But I got out of bed. I washed my hair. I walked to school.

Do you miss me ever? Do you ever wonder how I am?

I drive farther. So far that I don't really recognize much. I'm not sure if I have ever been here before. I drive back. I take the roads that I took to get here, and everything rewinds to there. I remember that tree. I know that guardrail. Those skid marks and street signs. I drive to the gas station where this rumpled looking man is always standing on the corner. The one who stands there all day long with his fingers holding up the peace sign. Just watching cars go by, saying "Hey car, peace." Depending on what kind of mood you're in, it looks stupid and out of context or it looks like what you're looking for. I want to see him. I want to ask him how he's doing. I want to be his friend and have him tell me I am making alright decisions. I am doing fine even when I have a bad day. Buy him coffee, and have him say "Hey, no, that's okay. To hell with the rest of it."

Do you maybe look at the phone and turn it over? Do you start letters and crumple them? Emails and cancel them?

The quarter's almost over, and so, my classes will be finished soon. I skipped a few of the last ones to walk around by myself, which might have been a bad idea. I just don't really like some of the people in them, and it makes it difficult to attend. They talk a lot in a way that makes it clear it's mostly for their benefit. It's mostly just to hear the sound. I don't really know why I didn't go. The people aren't even really all that bad. Maybe I just hate spending time with people I'm indifferent about, when I can't see the ones I do like. When, regardless of anything, I can't see certain people that I'd like to, and then to top it off I'm stuck in a room with people that mean nothing to me. These people shouting "Look at me!" until I have a headache. Until it feels out of place. It feels like a waste.

How are you? How are you doing? How was today and the one before and the others that I wasn't included in? Did you wake up feeling sort of sorry? Did you wish I'd acted other than the way I did?

The woman who owns the coffeehouse up the street knows my name, and I like her because she wears aprons and loves buying anything old. We talk about thrift stores. We talk about colors. We talk about the weather. I put change in her tip jar, and she says "Maybe the weather will get better." I say "I know maybe, huh?" even if I don't usually mind the rain. I walk home in the middle of the street. I stare at the trees that make everything feel pretty and right -- those cherry ones that we are all in love with. I stand there longer than necessary. I make it a point to see if they have changed.

glug glug glug

2005-03-08T08:42:31Z

Nothing ever goes the way I think it will,
and that's exciting or depressing
depending on what kind of day I'm having.

hey micah

2005-02-11T03:59:21Z

amy wants a myspace

The cutest thing to come out of astronomy lecture thus far.

2005-01-14T00:22:38Z

elenasaurs @ 2004-11-18T21:34:00

2004-11-19T05:35:15Z

elenasaurs @ 2004-10-19T02:10:00

2004-10-19T09:14:19Z

So that's what it's like to have brothers.

Good people, bad days and reminders.

2004-09-09T06:11:51Z

I have been typing here for awhile and erasing it and then typing again, and what all of my thinking for the night comes down to is this -- Amy Wosser, I am listening to sad modest mouse songs and thinking about long drives to the ocean with crazy fishermen beside us in Astoria. I just wanted you to know, that I know, you are one of the best friends I will ever have in my life.

The Beginning

2004-08-22T02:15:16Z

I am learning how to cook. I am not very good at it.

elenasaurs @ 2004-07-29T00:43:00

2004-07-29T07:43:26Z

1,260 times a minute

2004-06-28T19:34:02Z

I think it's cute how fast a hummingbird's heart beats.